I think I died a long time ago.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You can't special order awesome
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
