I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Shame is for Republicans.
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