i don't like sucking hair
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Found your dick twin last night
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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