his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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