It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
