don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
