We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
