but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize