I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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