Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
