Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
