she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
