He felt like a one man threesome
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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