did you get engaged???
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize