She's JV to your varsity
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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