She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
