I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize