I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize