You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
