Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize