I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize