Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
