whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Can you bring me the toilet please
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
