fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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