I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
