I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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