In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
