I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
