I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
