My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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