she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize