i think i have two assholes
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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