we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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