hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Operation Purity has been aborted
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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