If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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