I think im going to throw up on grandma
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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