The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
