you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
