oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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