You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
