I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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