Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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