i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I have aggressive nipples.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
