So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
