saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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