Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
