life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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