false alarm. still invincible.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
