just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize