operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
