I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
