Tell her she can't have a vagina
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
