how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
