We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
