I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
