This is not my ceiling
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
