you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
