I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
