his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
