I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
