we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
