Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
