when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well I just put wine in my tea
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
