i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Quick, to the slutcave!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize