Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
