sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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