R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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