I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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