you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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