sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
