I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
