I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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